Eavesdroppers Never Hear Anything Good
by kehwie
Summary: Nor Do They Get the Story Straight. Daniel overhears a conversation in the commissary. Trouble is, what he thinks he hears isn't quite the whole story...


**Eavesdroppers Never Hear Anything Good...Nor Do They Get the Story Straight**

A/N: This is inspired by NancyY's incredibly brilliant "Hearing Is Believing." I loved how only hearing snatches of the conversation completely changed the meaning of it. I wanted to try something similar for a long time, but I didn't really think I could pull it off. Finally, though, I decided to give it a whirl with Daniel and Vala. Half of what comes out of Vala's mouth sounds like innuendo anyway, so Daniel might naturally jump to that conclusion where she is concerned. My first attempt had the OC with a newborn baby, but that was _too_ similar to NancyY's piece, so I rewrote. I hope what I've come up with works, although I freely admit it isn't nearly as good as its inspiration. I recommend reading NancyY's, even if you aren't a fan of _Scarecrow and Mrs. King_. It really is genius. :) (Not to mention way shorter than mine. Which surprises...no one.) s/2045902/1/Hearing-is-Believing

Disclaimer: I don't own _Stargate SG-1_, and I make no profit.

Thanks as always to the lovely AerynB for her help.

**Part 1—What Daniel Heard**

Daniel had come to the commissary for a quick meeting with some of the SGC's other archaeologists and anthropologists. After the meeting ended, he continued to sit, sipping coffee and going over his notes. After a few minutes, he realized that he recognized the voices chatting a nearby table: Vala and Lt. Nelson.

Lt. Alex Nelson worked for the SGC's IT department. He and Vala had met a few weeks ago when Vala had brought back some sort of complicated computer from P6X-336. Lt. Nelson knew the alien technology had no bearing on his daily duties, but he couldn't help being fascinated by it. Vala had taught him how the system worked in their off hours. The two had become fast friends.

Daniel didn't intend to eavesdrop, but he couldn't help overhearing some of the conversation; Vala and Nelson weren't sitting _that _far away. They were speaking too quietly for Daniel to hear everything, but he didn't particularly care for the parts he did hear. Honestly, didn't Vala _ever _let up? Did she have to flirt _all_ the time?

"...most beautiful girl I've ever seen," Daniel heard Nelson gush.

Vala gave a throaty chuckle and a toss of her head. "Well, naturally, dear. You're in love..."

"...don't want to ruin our friendship," Nelson continued.

"...wouldn't worry too much...oh, that's just gossip...no, no, it's fine..." Vala assured him.

"...don't have enough experience with this sort of thing," Nelson sighed. "I'm so nervous."

Vala's response to that was predictable. "Oh, I can teach you plenty, Alex, dear!" She gave another low chuckle. Daniel scowled, his irritation rising.

"Well, maybe...come over sometime...we'll do dinner, and take it from there...give me your number." Nelson passed a napkin and a pen to Vala.

Vala scribbled quickly. "There, now...oh, we'll work something out...what do you think about..." She leaned forward and lowered her voice, and Daniel could no longer hear anything she said. He kept his eyes glued to his notes, determined to act nonchalant, and sipped his coffee.

Vala sat back in her seat. "...only tricky part is getting permission for me to stay off-base overnight..." Daniel nearly choked. He set the mug down, eyes wide.

Nelson and Vala conferred a bit further, then Vala scraped her chair back. "Looking forward to it, dear," she told the lieutenant brightly. She turned to leave the commissary and caught sight of Daniel for the first time. "Daniel! I didn't know you were here!"

"Um, yeah," Daniel mumbled. He nodded to them both in greeting. "Had a meeting a while ago. Just finishing up."

By now, Nelson was standing as well. He returned Daniel's nod. "Dr. Jackson. Good to see you." He turned to Vala, looking at her meaningfully. "I'll talk to you later. And thanks."

"Anytime," she returned cheerfully. She dropped into the chair in front of Daniel and grabbed part of his snack. "So what fascinating stuff do you have there, darling?"

Daniel stared at her. She'd just made a date with Nelson and had called him dear and now she was sitting here addressing him as darling and stealing his food? Could the woman _be _any more fickle? He shook his head in exasperation. "Nothing that would interest you," he said testily.

"Well, you never know," Vala drawled. "I'm interested in all _kinds_ of things, Daniel."

He huffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. I gotta get back to work." He stalked off.

Vala stared after him in shock. What in the worlds was _his_ problem?

**Part 2—What Vala Said**

Vala spent most of her time with SG-1 and sometimes felt she didn't know many other people at the base. She had been trying to make a few new friends lately, and Lt. Alex Nelson was a notable success in that endeavor. He was handsome and funny and adorably unaware of being either one. He was also terribly shy, which was the reason for their current conversation.

"Oh, Vala, you should see her," Alex said dreamily. "She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." He blushed. "Not that you're not...I mean, you're quite nice-looking..."

Vala laughed and tossed her head. "Well, naturally, dear. You're in love. Thinking she's the most gorgeous creature in existence comes with the territory. So when are you going to ask her on a date?"

The poor man looked terrified. "Oh, I don't know," he stuttered. "I mean, what if she says no? That would be horrible and awkward. I don't want to ruin our friendship! Besides, I hear she likes Colonel Mitchell..."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry too much," Vala said airily. "I'm fairly certain she and Mitchell are just good friends."

"Like you and Dr. Jackson are just good friends?" Alex returned dryly. "I've heard the rumors, Vala."

Vala rolled her eyes. "Oh, that's just gossip. I assure you, there's nothing going on between me and Daniel, or between Mitchell and...anyone."

"So you think I have a chance?" Alex asked hopefully. "And you don't mind helping me out? I _really_ appreciate this, Vala."

"No, no, it's fine," Vala assured him. She began scrawling some ideas on a napkin. "Now let's come up with a game plan..."

"I don't even know where to start," Alex sighed. "I don't have enough experience with this sort of thing. I'm so nervous!"

"Oh, I can teach you plenty, Alex, dear!" Vala laughed delightedly. The lieutenant was so sweet; it was positively _precious_. "Do you want to do a practice date? I can give you tips, teach you how to flirt..."

Alex's blush deepened. "Well, maybe. Or...you're friends with her, right? You and she could come over sometime. I can cook pretty well, actually. We'll do dinner, and take it from there. Maybe we could watch a movie afterward or something. Hey, give me your number, so I can call you sometime when you're with her. That way it will seem more natural to invite you both over."

Vala quickly jotted down her cell number on the napkin Alex gave her. "There now. See how well you're doing with this? You'll be fine!"

"I'm not so sure," Alex muttered.

"Oh, we'll work something out," Vala insisted. "What do you think about this? You call me, we go to your house for dinner—I'd need someone to drive me anyway, so there's an excuse for us both to come. Make sure you have a truly _excellent_ wine—do you need my help selecting that?" At the shake of his head she murmured, "Of course, you're a chef. Right—you pick the wine. We'll try to get a bit tipsy, or at least get _her _a bit tipsy so she can't drive me back here. You offer to let us sleep on your couch or in your spare room or whatever, and cook us an equally fabulous breakfast the next morning. How does that sound?"

"How is this supposed to help me exactly?" Alex wanted to know.

"Well, it shows you're sweet and considerate and a fabulous cook," Vala shrugged. "Really, what more could she want? Just be your adorable, lovely self all night." Vala leaned back and frowned. "As far as I can see, the only tricky part is getting permission for me to stay off-base overnight; the SGC is so _fussy_ about that. I don't think they'd make you to drive me back or anything, but they might do something dumb like send a driver or something."

"I guess we'll deal with that if it happens," Alex said. "But really, I don't see why it'd be a problem. They'd know you were with me. So when do you want to try this grand scheme of yours?"

"Oh, let's aim for tomorrow night," Vala suggested. "It's the weekend, so everyone will be more relaxed. If it turns out she's already got plans, we'll regroup." She pushed back her chair and stood up. "Looking forward to it, dear." Seeing Daniel sitting nearby, she exclaimed, "Daniel! I didn't know you were here!"

A/N 2: So...should I end it here? Or do you want more to the story? Do you want Daniel to get "busted" on his misunderstanding? I'll admit that this is all I have at the moment, so if you would like an extension of sorts to the tale you need to throw me some ideas! ;)


End file.
